


And the Last Day

by misskat1327



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3458480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misskat1327/pseuds/misskat1327
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra finds out she's got a month to live and wanted to spend it with her boys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the Last Day

Cassandra was dying. Really dying though. The doctors finally told her that she had about a month to live. She a bawled her eyes out. She always knew she was going to die at some point. But to have reality hit her in the face like that was devastating.

She had sat in the park and just cried until she couldn't anymore. Cassandra didn't want to put the other through seeing her like that. After she was finally done she just walked around for a while. Figured she might as well take in the beautiful world while she could.

Cassandra debated on how to tell Jake and Ezekiel. But the more she thought about it the more she realized she didn't want to tell anyone. All they would do is treat her like glass and be awkward around her. So instead she wrote up a list of all the things she wanted to do before she died. A bucket list basically.

As she walked into the The Librarians main gathering room she heard the boys fighting over how to get the globe to work. She smiled and couldn't help but laugh at them. All she really wanted to do was start crying again when she realized that she wasn't going to be able to see them like this again. But she put on a big smile and bounced into the room.

“Hello!” she went over to them and flopped into one of the chairs.

“How the doctors go?” Jake asked her.

“So! I wanna go play laser tag!” Cassandra announced.

“Umm....ok?” Ezekiel set the globe down. “When?”

“Tomorrow?” she looked at Jake. “You have to come too.”

“Well, alright then. Guess we're playing laser tag! And I'm gonna kick your butts!” Jake laughed and picked up the globe again. “Now, how the HELL does this thing work??”

xoxo  
Three weeks later

So far they had done laser tag, ice skating, rollerblading, go carts, video games, the beach, four movies, and two museums. And a Renaissance fair which the boys had complained about but ended up loving the most because they got to pretend kill a bunch of people in the “battle”. 

Cassandra had managed to evade any questions as to why they were doing this with simple a “I wanna spend time with you guys”. And it's like their clippings book knew what she was up to because they managed to not get one case since she found out. 

Today they had decided to just stay in, make dinner together and watch a movie. They were making Cassandra's favorite, fettuccine alfredo. Ezekiel was making, or watching really, the noodles, Jake was making the sauce, and Cassandra was doing side dishes. 

“Ugh....why did I get the most boring thing to do!?” Ezekiel complained.

“Because you are the worst at cooking. Now shut up and make sure those noodles don't over cook.” said Jake.

“If you think about it, it's actually the most important. No matter how good everything else is, if the noodles are over cooked then it's going to be terrible.” Cassandra gave him a smile and went back to spread garlic butter on the bread.

“Ah, leave it to you to try to put a nice swing on it.” Ezekiel rolled his eyes but he smiled back at her.

Suddenly Cassandra felt herself sway and get tunnel vision. At first she tried to brush it off but the tunnel was getting smaller and smaller. She could feel herself going but took a deep breath and tried to focus her way out of it.

“Hey! Cassandra!” she heard Jake but he sounded so far away.

“Wh-what?” she just to take another deep breath and look over at him.

But the moment she turned her head everything closed in and she went down. She could feel both Jake and Ezekiel grabbing her before she really hit the floor. The last thing she saw was their faces. They looked terrified.

Xoxoxo

Cassandra woke up and could feel blankets around. She thought for a moment that she might be in the hospital but then she felt that the blankets were her own. She must be in her own bed. Slowly she tried opening her eyes. Luckily the only light that was on was a lamp beside her bed. Her head hurt so much that she still winced as she got her eyes fully open.

She tried to move her head to look around but it hurt to much. Cassandra made a little groaning sound at it and suddenly saw movement to her left. Ezekiel sat down next to her on the bed. 

“Hey there. You ok?” he sounded so worried.

“Um, yea. My head hurts is all.” she tried to smile up at him but suddenly felt like she was going to throw up.

Suddenly Jake moved Ezekiel and put a bowl in front of her. Next thing she knew she was throwing up in the bowl they were going to put the pasta in. Jake held her hair back for her and Ezekiel rubbed little circles on her back. When she was done Jake took the bowl and left the room. Ezekiel handed her some water.

“Sorry about that.” she said after she was drank some of the water. “I don't know what came over me.”

“You don't huh?” Jake was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

Cassandra knew in that instant that Jake knew. She was busted and he was mad. Glancing over at Ezekiel she realized that they both knew. Or at least knew that something was more wrong than just her head hurting. 

Jake walked over and put a piece of paper in front of her. It was her bucket list.

“What is this?” he questioned her. “Only people who know they're dying make bucket lists Cassie.

“I just.....It's just....” she stopped mid sentence.

It had been three weeks. Almost a full month. And she could feel it. Her head was killing her, she felt numb, she was dizzy and throwing up. All the signs were there. And she could just feel that this was it. Suddenly everything she'd been pushing away for three weeks hit her and she started bawling.

Jake was there in an instant. Ezekiel on the other side of her. They were rubbing her back and caressing her head. Both making little comforting noises. When she'd finally cried herself out she just looked at them. She didn't even know how to say that this was it. 

“Cassie....are you.....are you dying?” Ezekiel sounded like he was about to break down and cry too.

When she looked over to answer him she saw the tears in his eyes. All she could do was nod. It's like the dam burst and she could feel both of them just collapse. 

“I'm so sorry. I just wanted to spend as much happy time with you as possible. If I told you it was just be depressing. And I didn't want that. Please don't be mad at me.” she started crying.

Ezekiel just put in arm around her waist and laid his head on her shoulder. Cassandra looked over at Jake finally. She expected to see him looking very upset at her. He hated being lied to. But all she saw was him silently crying along with her. And it broke her heart.

He put in arm around her as well and she laid her head on Jakes shoulder. They just sat like that for a while, while they cried themselves out. None of them really knew what to say to each other. What are you supposed to say in these situations anyway? She wondered.

At some point she had fallen asleep again. When she woke up Ezekiel was curled up next to her with his head still touching her shoulder and an arm drapped across her. Jake was nowhere to be found. But she figured he probably needed time to processed this as well. 

She suddenly felt very sick and had to bolt up and run to the bathroom. Throwing Ezekiel off in the process. When she was done she realized she couldn't stand up. She just sat on the floor for a few minutes, thinking to herself how pathetic this was. She wasn't even able to make it the five feet from the doorway to her bed. In that moment she was almost glad she didn't have to go through it much longer.

“Zeke?” she finally said. 

“I'm here” she heard from right outside the door.

“I can't get up.” her voice as she told him.

The door opened and Ezekiel was there. He picked her up from the floor and carried her back to the bed. She realized she could barely even see at this point. Unless something was right in front of her, it was just a blur. Ezekiel handed her some more water and she gratefully drank some to get the nasty taste out of her mouth.

“It's getting really bad isn't it?” he whispered. 

Ezekiel was looking down at his hands. She could tell he had started to tear up again and was fidgeting to stop himself. She smiled at him and put her hand on the side of his face. Pulling up his face to look at her, she nodded yes. 

“How long do you think?” he croaked out.

“I don't think I'm gonna make it past tonight hunny.” she hated telling him but she could feel herself fading quickly. “Come here.”

Cassandra patted the bed beside her and he scooted next to her. She laid down and pulled him next to her so that they were facing each other.

“I love you, you know.” she whispered.

Ezekiel sadly smiled at her. “I know. I love you too.”

“I'm so glad I met you. I just want you to know that. Meeting you guys and going on all these adventures, they were the best part of my life.”

Ezekiel starting crying again and Cassandra brushed away his tears.

“You mean the world to me. And I am so glad for my time with you. I truly thought I'd live a boring life and die alone. But you guys changed that. And I love you so much for all your sarcasm and jokes. They made my life so much funnier and filled it with such joy.”

Cassandra leaned over and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. “I am forever thankful for my time with you. Don't forget that. I know you'll be sad and it'll be hard but....you need to live ok. Live your life to the fullest. Find a sweet girl and give her the world like I know you will. Fall in love and have babies and be happy, ok? Promise me.”

“I promise.” Ezekiel thickly replied through his tears. “If I ever have a daughter I'll even name her after you.” he tried to give her the happiest smile he could.

“Good. You better!” she laughed at him. “Where is Jake by the way?”

“He said he was gonna go clean up the kitchen.” Ezekiel looked toward the doorway. “But I'm pretty sure he's in the kitchen crying. I heard him. But I figured it was best to leave him be. Do you want me to get him?”

“No. He'll come back when he's ready.” Cassandra started to feel herself passing out again. “Just lay here with me for a while.”

“Sounds good.” he replied.

Cassandra snuggled her head into his chest and felt the world slip away from her. But she could hear him whisper “I love you Cassie.”

xoxoxo

Cassandra had to force her eyes open. Everything was so dark. The room looked like it had one of those lights you could adjust, and it was set on low. But slowly things started to come more into focus. Ezekiel was asleep and facing the other way. Cassandra looked around for Jake and found him sitting the chair next to the bed, reading. 

“Hey you.” she whispered.

Jake looked up at her and smiled. “Hey there. How you feeling?”

“Like I'm dying I supposed.” she tried to joke. He didn't look thrilled.

“Don't....please.” Jake closed his book and set it on the night stand. “I'm sorry. I just-” his voice chocked off and he just looked at her. He looked so broken.

“It's ok.” she told him. She once again patted the bed next to her. “Come here.”

Jake slide into the bed on the other side of her. He stared at her for a moment and just shook his head.

“I understand why you didn't tell us. I just wish we had more time....” he told her.

“More time for what? Being sad? I'm not gonna take back these last few weeks with you and replace with sadness.” she slide her hand into his.

“I know. It makes no sense. I just don't.....I just don't want to say goodbye.” tears slowly started rolling down his face. “I can't lose you Cassie. I didn't get to apologize. I didn't get to tell you that I trust you. And I get why you did it. I didn't get to get over myself. I didn't get to go on a date with you where I was a stuttering mess. And you tell me that it's ok and reassure me like you always do. I didn't get to kiss you. Or hold you. Or get to have you fall asleep in my arms.” 

Jake put his hand on the side of her face as he starting truly crying.. “I didn't get to marry you, and have kids with you, and just....be with you. And I am so sorry. I'm such an idiot. I'm such a selfish idiot.” 

Cassandra wiped away his tears and held him while he cried in her arms. When he was done he pulled back and looked at him again. But before he could say anything, Cassandra leaned up and gave him a kiss. It wasn't much. She couldn't breathe very well. But he put his hands on face and deeply kissed her back.

She could taste the tears that had fallen for her. But she also tasted what could have been. And she was so happy with that. She could taste how happy he was with her. She could taste his light and happiness. She could taste the next 60 years of the life they could have had. And she was happy with it.

“I love you Cassie. I love you so much.” he whispered when they pulled apart.

“I love you too.” she smiled at him. “Now you gotta promise me something. That you're not going to sit around and waste away. Don't dwell on the past. Live, ok? Go on so many more adventures with Ezekiel. And talk to him. Open up to him. You two are going to need each other.”

Jake touched his forehead to her's and whispered that he promised.

“And know that you were the best thing that ever happened to me, alright? I don't regret one moment of my time with you. I don't care that nothing happened with us. Because I still got you. I got to be with you every day and see you. And I got to see you grow and learn that what you have isn't a curse. You got to tell your family about all the wonderful and beautiful things you know. You got to open up and find your own family and friends. And I am just glad I got to witness that.” Cassandra was freely crying now.

She looked him in the eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, “You mean the world to me Jacob Stone and meeting you the best moment of my short life. And I am so glad I got to share my life with you.”

Jake whipped away his tears and cleared his throat. He looked down at her and gave her one more kiss. Just a small peck on the lips.

“I love you so much Cassandra Cillian. And I am so happy for the time we had together.”

Cassandra smiled at him and then turned to face Ezekiel. She pulled him over to her and he wrapped his arm around her. She wrapped her arms around Jake and laid on his shoulder. In this moment she was blissfully happy.

As she closed her eyes she realized that it would be for the last time. And she was ok with that. Dying next to the two people she loved most in this world, and with a smile on her face, was exactly how she wanted to go.

Xoxo

Cassanra Cillian died at 4:17am on Wednesday the 22nd. Two days later they laid her to rest under a beautiful bed of flowers while they watch the most amazing sunset they'd ever seen.


End file.
